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X O

to my future…

Even on the cloudiest of days

you are my sunshine.

When I am feeling lost and vulnerable

you are my light.

When I am feeling at my lowest, confused and withdrawn,

you are my comfort, my armor, and my protector.

——

XO

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Distant

It hurts to feel this distance from you

Whether its temporary or permanent

It hurts.

Lying in the dark, in my bed

on one side because the other side is saved for you.

You should be here, but for now i just have your T shirt i borrowed.

The collar smells like you, its like a pillow for my mental.

To have the smell of you will get me through this night, its the closest ill get to you for now.

This distance, it hurts. But at least i have your T shirt.

-XO

Smiles

And the for the first time in over 6 years,

She smiled.

Not the everyday smile every body gets, the “I’m doing fine” but not really doing fine smile.

She SMILED.

For the first time she feels free, happiness is felt running from the roots of her hair, to her pedicured toes.

She is lifted, she is RELIEVED.

She. Is. Happy.

XO

Try Me

You watch me gain my happiness and you try to take it away?

Do you know who you are testing?

Do you know I’m a lover AND a fighter?

I am a lioness, touch my pride or my king, I will bite your head off.

Attack what I love, I’ll come back for your heart.

Tarnish what’s mine, I’ll show you what rust tastes like.

Your bitterness is toxic, your mental is disturbed.

I will GLADLY serve you up a taste of your own medicine.

Two can play this game, and so far I am winning.

Watching you squirm like a worm on a hook, without having to do the most

It is clarity to me, something I enjoy.

You want to drive me insane? You can try.

But the only one digging their own grave is you, bitch.

Reunited

He said he missed me

He said i was the only one he was thinking about

The words exchanged between us the last time I thought would go sour, but instead it came with closure and true meaning. It was lively, full of color

A chance i never had

I hope you see it too.

We both cant help but intertwine fingers and lock into each other’s presence

With flirty “you’re annoying” and “i miss us”

You feel it too.

Why did anything have to change?

Best friends and great lovers, intimacy unreal?

What more can you ask for?

The people at the bar said we are cute together, we both giggled, but never denied.

We both know where we belong, i’ll see you again soon.

XO

IMY

Its nights like these

When I wish you would just show up at my doorstep

And hold me.

I want to feel your fingertips run through my hair

Because we both know how good you are with your hands..

They create, they work, but best of all they caress, they love.

To feel your hands with mine, our energies exchange while the feeling of the summer sun runs through our veins

I want to feel warm again, i miss you.

XO

Late Night Thought

Sometimes my late night thoughts aren’t so bad,

Because when I think of you I become at ease

To feel your touch would be the perfect lullaby

But for now all i have are these thoughts, in my mind that tease

Bad thoughts are here again…

Insecurities, self doubts, and negative images are clouding my brain right now.

Am I good enough for this?

Will you get bored?

What are your true intentions?

What do you see in me that I don’t?

I want to ask these questions but the way my mind works, i see it as a burden. I don’t want to “bother” or “bombard” you with my feelings. Although i know deep down they are valid. My past will not let me think otherwise.

Parts of me are broken, parts of me are just scared.

But you have no idea, how badly I want this all to work. With only you.

XO

My Moon

Like the moon,

Like the stars,

You bring a beautiful light to my darkness.

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